Yo Homegirl, That Bitch Be Drownin'!

So Roxie and Reno are away at camp this summer (working, not camping). It's super-duper fun, so sorry, folks, but these posts may be coming less frequently (or at least be less exciting and full of stories about little girls). 

Now we know when we say less frequently, that doesn't mean much, seeing as we haven't posted in exactly a month. Oops. Don't worry, Rocky has been on our butts to get posting so here it goes!!

Well, Reno and Roxie each had their own adventures through New England. Reno went to visit the bf, and spent most of the time at her school sitting in his house with his housemates in the AC because it was f*ckin hot. 

Roxie braved the heat (and got massively sunburnt) and went to CT. She met up with Tyler, Kate, and Agatha to go to a beach in RI together before Tyler had to leave for New Zealand.  Roxie was amazing and saved Kate's sunglasses from being swallowed in the ocean. 

After spending the night at Tyler's house, Roxie realized that she could totally go back to Boston with Agatha and then catch a bus home, so she did. She visited some friends from school and saw a dress rehearsal of the summer show. She also went to the airport with her friend, James, to pick up their friend Jess who was returning from Dubai. Roxie has decided that she is going to move there eventually, because evidently Dubai operates on a schedual where the days begin at 3:00 pm and last until like 7:00 in the morning which totally matches her natural sleep schedule. 

They met up to take Mega Bus home. We would now like to advocate Mega Bus. It runs from major city to major city in the USA and tickets begin at $1 (plus like 50 cents as a reservation fee or something), and go up in price as the departure date gets closer. Check it out if you need to get somewhere at megabus.com. Anyway, our bus was almost empty so we took over the back seat to lay out and sleep on the way home. 

Reno's boyfriend visited NJ, and we went with him to Coney Island in NY for the Mermaid Parade! People dress up in sea-themed costumes and parade around the boardwalk and street with music and floats. We almost marched in the parade, but sadly, Matt's train came into the city too late for us to get there on time to march, but it was fine, because we were then able to watch the parade and see all the costumes, which yielded fantastic pictures. View some:

You can check Roxie's facebook for more photos from the parade.

Moving On: The title of this post comes from a weekend of lifeguard training (yet another sunburn), so the two of us are now certified lifeguards. I don't know weather you should feel safe in the water now, or if you will fear for your lives every time you jump in the pool. You decide. 

There have been other ridiculous adventures around NJ, but none so exciting as what I've already shared. In the future, look for a hardcore 50's picture with us to appear in Nick's profile pictures, and more camp stories. 

In the meantime, have some tunes to keep you occupied. Girl Talk's new album is out. The verdict is still out on weather it is a good album (maybe not so great as Night Ripper), but it is at least listenable. Try it on for size:

Girl Talk - Here's the Thing (Zshare)

Also, this is fairly new and it's on the radio. It's called I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry. We think it's fun, but it seems that it's either a hit or miss with most people. They love it or hate it. Have a listen, and let us know what you think!:

Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl (Zshare)

Also, Roxie and Reno would like to extend an open invitation to play them in pictionary to anyone brave enough to challenge them. Just be warned, we kick butts.

p.s. To Our Loyal Readers: Roxie has found a way to post the mp3 from the Take Me Back to Your House video by Basement Jaxx... the quality isn't great, but at least you can put this one on your ipod, unlike the last time we tried to post it:

Basement Jaxx - Take Me Back to Your House (Zshare)

You Have a Friend Named Anne Revolting?!

So… Roxie is wondering: Does grey toothpaste really make your teeth whiter? She recently switched to a new Colgate toothpaste that claims it’s whitening, but it makes her spit grey. What is that about?

Anyhoo today we played rockband with Mark, Frankie, and Netto. It rocked. We beat their arch-rival:  Boston. It was good times. Portuguese wine was involved. Mmm.

Reno dug a trench for more hours than she slept. We tried to rejuvinate her with this weird Hiro energy drink that Roxie got on the streets back at school as a free sample. It was disgusting. Moral of the story: STICK TO REDBULL. Hiro is gross (as are most other energy drinks).

Roxie is currently in the process of uploading more musical theater to her computer and reading Son of a Witch. Surprise, surprise. EWW. She just found a spider in her book. She closed the book. Now it’s dead.

We’ve also decided to create a music video of this summer to Hey Muscles, I Love You by Muscles. Be on the lookout for that video-to-come!

Yup yup. That’s all, folks. 

88 Inches of Therapy

We watched Pretty Woman today. The movie has inspired us to quit college and go whore ourselves out until rich men fall in love with us and buy us everything we ever wanted. It'll be great - just you wait. 

Roxie has been on a musical theater binge recently, which means that she has rented at least 10 musical theater cds from the library, and has more on hold. She can't wait until the people who have them out return them.

Roxie and Reno are also in the process of trying to make dresses. Roxie is going first, but she is failing miserably, because she needs this white cotton fabric for the trim, and has none. She's hit a roadblock for now, but never fear, readers! She will persevere (meaning she will go to fabricland and buy more fabric... and a zipper). 

Upon Roxie and Reno's first trip the the fabric store with Rocky, they were scolded by the woman who cut their fabric. She told Rocky to sit in a corner. Haha, Rocky. Although, upon further conversation with the three of us, she discovered that Rocky may, in fact, be the most sane of this terrible trio, and threatened to put us all in a corner. 

Also, rather than bingeing on redbull, Roxie and Reno have begun to discover the wonder that is Diet Coke. It's cheaper, has no calories, and it gives us the carbonation fix we need. The downside: no caffeine.

Yesterday, We made pasta, and unlike the last time Roxie tried to make pasta, the noodles did not catch on fire. 

Rocky used his Italian skills to make sauce. Yum.

Today, we tried to make a music video, but do to poor (no) planning, it turned out terrible. Well... maybe not terrible, but horribly hilarious. At least we find it funny. See what you think. You may just find it dumb... but we don't care because it was marvelous making it!

Also, present in the following film are some of our classic dance moves. You'll see Rocky doing the "Italian Shake" after Roxie tries to do her own rendition. Roxie also does the move that she learned from Reefer Madness, the musical. She was the only one of the group brave enough to attempt it, but she still failed horribly. Reno does the original "Unattractive Dance" which is followed by Roxie's "Nilchcycle" where she rides a no-wheeled vehicle. You'll also notice some hand puppets, along with Rocky's creepy entrances and exits. In addition to his creepiness, you will experience his flexibility, which rivals that of Roxie. So without further ado, we present Say My Name:

Destiny's Child - Say My Name (zshare)

In addition to our own video, we feel the need to share another video. Well, actually, it's not a video, it's one of Roxie's favorite commercials. It's for Captain Morgan. Now, we are underage and have never ever ever experienced the joy that is Captain Morgan, but we can sure say that it looks like fun, judging from this ad:

Yes, it's wonderful. We know. Reno also has a favorite ad, but we cannot seem to find it on youtube. It's the new White Castle Ad with the burger on the phone in the large orange chair. You know the one. There are very few people in the world who find it laugh-out-loud-funny. Reno is one of them.

Also - Have some Hadouken!. We've been listening to them for probably over a year, now, and it's about time that everyone else starts listening to them too. They are fantastic and British. Yes, that means fun. They're loud and have some weird form of instrumentation, but their music is so energy pumped that we can't help but dance while driving (we're going to crash someday soon...) Anyway, have some of their music, including their remix of Bloc Party's The Prayer along with the original song. 

Hadouken! - That Boy That Girl

Hadouken! - Liquid Lives

Hadouken! - The Prayer (remix)

Bloc Party - The Prayer

Hadouken! - Dance Lesson

So while you're listening to all this fantastic music you should follow Hadouken!'s advice:

"If you won't dance, then get out, get out

And if you can't sing this shout (like me)

If you've got a drink, then neck the whole cup

If you don't know the words, then just make them up"

Not Working At Hooters

Wow. It's been way too long since the last post. We apologize to our loyal fans. Well, as you can imagine we've been up to a lot since the last post. There has been an outing to Child's Park with two of our friends which involved much hiking. It also involved wading/sitting in water under the falls (which means that there was also some changing from jeans to bathing suits/shorts in the middle of a crowded state park). The trip yielded some fantastic photos of us playing in waterfalls, as well as with big sticks (tickling trees, fighting, etc...). 

We also have this tendency to hang out with substitute teachers from high school (well that's an exaggeration, but this particular substitute is actually our friend). He, Rocky*, Reno, and Roxie were sketchballs and hung out in the parking lot of KINGS playing with shopping carts and all the ridiculous props that exist in Roxie's trunk. Remember when we said to be on the lookout for the lampshade? Well, here it is!!:

Most of the adventures of the past week have led to thrift stores such as unique, the salvation army, and incog-neat-o, where we've each purchased some shoes and jewelry and so on and so forth. There are pictures to prove that we were, in fact, in said thrift stores:

Roxie with worlds best bustier and flower crown. She bought some sweet saks fifth avenue heeled low boots, and that necklace that she's wearing right there. Reno bought a fantastic pair of keds from the 70s, but not the had or gun pictured below. 

We also stumbled across some very very very old beer in an antique store for $4. We question if it is, in fact, drinkable. You decide. There were also some awkwardly shaped cookie cutters, that turned out to all be versions of Santa carrying a bag of toys.

After, we returned to Roxie's house with Rocky to make some crepes, which was an excellent adventure, until Reno tried to make one when there wasn't enough batter left. Luckily Roxie saved it (or at least made it edible) but it was still dubbed the reject crepe. View Roxie rescuing the reject crepe:

There is also an amazing photo of Reno eating it angrily, but our friends can check facebook for that fabled photo. Roxie's little brother also made a shirtless appearance at the crepe-making festival, which lead to a wonderful photobooth session of Roxie's computer. She would post the pictures, but the shirtlessness might be too much for many of our weaker-stomached readers. 

We also saw the Sex and the City movie. It was alright. We're still deciding how we feel about it. It definitely did the job of bringing closure to the stories of the four, but the cinematography was hideous. We have a game for you when you see it: COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES YOU SEE THE MICROPHONE DIP INTO THE FRAME! If you get a number less than 7, you are not observant. 

*It should be noted that Rocky is a new addition to this dynamic duo, thereby making the duo a trio on certain occasions. He is very Italian and has some issues with memory loss (He called Roxie "April" from pre-kindergarden to freshman year of high school). He is oddly flexible and enjoys interpretive dance. In addition to his own dancing, he often criticizes the dancing of Roxie and Reno. 

Lesbian Puppy

We have HAD IT with this rain. We've done everything we could: watched chick flicks, played video games, went to thrift shops, drank hot chocolate. We are RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS, WEATHER!!

Yesterday was pretty blah thanks to the weather and all of our commitments. Roxie got a haircut, Reno dug a ditch. The good news is that Roxie is officially working as a camp counselor this summer, and Reno is almost 100 percent sure that she will too. Fabulosity abounding. We will get lifeguard certified and you will see us standing around near brown lakes blowing whistles and fastening life vests on small children. It is going to be a blast. More on that later.

We visited one of our friends yesterday, Joey. Joey is officially totally insane and brilliant and hilarious. We have decided to make a documentary that is just an hour of him talking, because the boy's brain works like none other. Then we left after a brief discussion since Reno was like falling asleep against a wall and mumbling that her hands hurt.

Possible trips for the future:
Duke Gardens! - next week sometime.
Child's Park!- Saturday! We are recruiting our hiking crew for another fun-filled day of waterfalls and roadtrips. Mmm. Taste the happy. (Michael Bluth: "It tastes kind of like sad...")

TUNES FOR GOONS

Happily, we just downloaded the entirety of Gotye's album Like Drawing Blood after a year of dabbling in our favorite tracks. Freaking sweet, guys. Unique, melodic, catchy, amazing. The beloved classic is of course Heart's a Mess. The video is dark and sucks you in. Something about the animation, the images...

GOTYE HEARTS A MESS

MP3: Gotye- Heart's a Mess

The song will stay with you, I know it. Once you've grown to adore it, have a listen to this totally rocktastic DLake remix. The indie music world is all about the Ocelot remix, but I much prefer DLake, maybe because I stumbled upon it like half a year ago and it blew my mind because I didn't know anyone even knew who Gotye was. Oh yeah, not to mention that Gotye's album of Like Drawing Blood remixes included a version of this.

MP3: Gotye- Heart's a Mess (DLake Remix)

Then there's the unbelievably upbeat and dancy tune of Learnalilgivinanlovin. With a name like that, who could refuse?

MP3: Gotye- Learnalilgivinanlovin

I'm getting overexcited here but I can't very well post the entire album. I'll guess I'll close it all up with this sad, sweet jam from Boardface: Out Here In The Cold. Good for rainy days and wistful gazes out the window.

MP3: Gotye- Out Here In The Cold

Enjoy!

Toodles noodles.

Preggo My Eggo

Another rainy day here in the Jerz. We spent most of our time driving around on splashy highways, trying to find thrift shops. We struggled with GPS and sang along at the top of our lungs to Robyn.

SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY, YOU IS A PUNK

Speaking of Robyn, Konichiwa Bitches has to be one of our favorite songs EVER. Just check out the crazy ass video, which includes everything from superhero costumes to monkeys and fake glasses.
It's sassy and silly and punchy and fits us to a T. Listen to it. Love it.

Robyn - Konichiwa_Bitches

So anyway, we ended up going to Goodwill and it was freaking sweet. We got some cowboy boots, ankle boots, a Fruits Basket kid's tee, a crepe-maker, and Reno bought a couple big dreamcatchers for her soon-to-be kickabutt dorm room. On the way back there was traffic and Reno stalled the car at a light because she was dancing in her seat and weaving her arms allover the car. We made a note to avoid such behavior during precarious manual-shift moments. We have gone our separate ways to manger a little dinner and then it's out again for some potential Rock Band-age with Mark and Tom or maybe a movie. Who knows? The world is your oyster when you are two girls of ferocious fabulosity.

WHAT ABOUT THE TUNAGE

The rain has us all in a swoony funk, so here's some music to match. We do so dearly love the new Death Cab For Cutie song, all eight and a half minutes of it. Perfect for lying about on beds and wondering where you are going today or what you are doing or why you went running and forgot that the water was shut off so you couldn't take a shower after and must therefore remain stinky for the rest of the afternoon...

MP3: Death Cab For Cutie- I Will Possess Your Heart

Another amazing slow song is this Four Tet remix of Caribou's Melody Day, the original of which is fantastic as well. This version is better suited to the dark trees and drippy windows we have been seeing so much of lately. I owe my knowledge of this one to good ol' Good Weather For Airstrikes, which remains our fave music blog of all.

MP3: Caribou- Melody Day (Four Tet remix)


Shplaters, gators.

A Twisty Bobcat Pretzel

We have acquired a lampshade. That means exactly what it sounds like it means. There was an abandoned lampshade laying in the A&P parking lot. It looked rather lonely without a lamp to cover, so we felt obligated to take it home. It has been traveling around with us for the past few days in the back of Roxie's car, and there is a 1 in 4 chance that it will make an appearance in pictures sometime in the near future. 

That being said, today was most likely one of the best rainy days in a while. It began with a mad-dash trying to make a train to the city, but that failed miserably, especially when we discovered that the person we were trying to meet there was, in fact, in Long Island. Good job telling us ahead of time, loser. 

While in Summit, we went to an art show, but of course it was raining, and we were still trying to pass time until the next train (that was when we still thought that maybe it was a good idea to go to the city anyway). When we realized that the weather was against us, we turned the day into a visit to... THE LIBRARY! Now, that may seem boring, lame actually, but no, we rented a few chick flicks, some cds, and a Vietnamese cookbook!

So, with the music, movies, and cookbook in tow, we returned to Reno's house to view said movies and make said Vietnamese food (because of course Reno's pantry includes the most obscure ingredients... including shrimp paste? whatever). While the chicken defrosted, we ran upstairs (where we had to kick Reno's little sister off of Reno's bed as per usual) to watch Two Weeks Notice, a surprisingly good movie, even if only for the one-liners. 

Examples: 

"Is this belt too flashy, or is it belt-tacular?" 

"I am really good in bed... believe me, pal. You should be so lucky because the lawyery exterior... don't let that fool you, because inside I am, like, a complete animal. It's like, bobcat. You know it's scary... No. No. Look, I can bend like a pretzel. I'm serious. And I'm not talking the straight kind. I'm talking, like, the twisty kind. Twisty, like the bobcat salty kind of pretzel... because that's what men want, right?... The twisty-bobcat kind of pretzel..."

After the movie, we finished cooking what was declared a "keeper" recipe: Ginger Chicken. Yum. Spicy. Sweet. Good. Perhaps we should post the recipe... but that will come here later.

Post-dinner, we finished the movie-film and set out in search of Zita's, which quickly evolved into a search for Red Bull, when we realized that Red Bull would be better than Zita's. In searching for an open Krausers, we stumbled upon Plaster Fun House, which was closed, but never fear! When it is open, we shall return to paint things, and it will be good!

After that, we journeyed to Mark's house for some hardcore Rock Band with Mark and Tom. Reno sang for the first time ever (The Perfect Drug, by Nine Inch Nails*). She sat in a corner and tried to sing softly so that no one could hear her, but we still got to listen because she failed to realize that her voice does, in fact, come through the speaker system. Good job, Reno. Despite her "stage fright" she managed to pull off a 93%. Congratulate her the next time you see her. 

Also, side note: The "Bad Food"** household has very little toilet paper. This seems natural in a house where 86% of the inhabitants are male, but when one of them occupies the shower in the only bathroom with toilet paper, life becomes difficult for female visitors. Shout-out to Joe, who fetched toilet paper for those in need. 

When Tom announced his hunger, we tried to decide on a place to eat, but seeing as we're all indecisive people, the discussion lead to a mass-wrestling match, rather than to a solution. Wrestling soon turned to tickling, when the boys realized how ticklish Roxie is, and decided that torture was fun. Thanks, boys. 

Our excursion to a diner quickly turned into a visit to I-HOP instead (which sadly strays from our title, but deal with it), where the bacon was good, our waiter was cute, and we stole a strawberry. Now, you'd think when I say strawberry, it means a piece of fruit, but no. It was a paper strawberry hanging on the wall. So with the support of the whole group, and the other group of kids in the restaurant, Reno removed removed the thumb-tack holding it in place and stuffed it in Roxie's bag. Be on the lookout for its appearance in Reno's dorm room next year, but until then, it will keep the lampshade company.

Onto la music-a:

In continuation of the female artists from my last post, we have M.I.A. She's fantastic, and we aspire to learn to dance like her as soon as possible. There is a serious need for more female rappers in our lives, and in your lives too, so these songs need some serious sharing:

M.I.A. - Boyz

M.I.A. - Lady Killer

M.I.A. - Paper Planes

M.I.A. - Hussel (f. Afrikan Boy)

Peace out, cub scout. 

*Hopefully, this will soon be a link to the song (as soon as I get it on my computer). In the meantime, watch the absinth-inspired music video on Youtube:

Nine Inch Nails - The Perfect Drug

** Name changed to protect identity of family. (However, friends of the family can figure out how the name "Bad Food" is a derivation of the family name.)